God Willing

I decided I'd better blog again before I'm retiring this pair of running shorts. That, and the fact that my niece, Vanessa, will be returning to school and she'll give me a really hard time for not blogging for so long.

I'm thinking about our friend, Jim Roman. Jim is somewhat of an icon in North Ogden. He's 90+ years old and walks five miles a day. I first met Jim about four or five years ago, during a run. He was in his late 80's then....I think. His age, according to him, changes depending on the day and time of year you talk to him. However, near as I can tell, he's in his early 90's.

Chip and I see Jim almost weekly on our runs. In the summer months, I see him pretty much daily. We always stop to visit, and our visit always starts off with a handshake. I wonder if he's a little hard of hearing because he watches your mouth when you speak, however, he always seems to understand what you're saying and he has an incredible memory.

He walks with a cane, which he insists is to ward off stray dogs, and is finally wearing a reflector vest, courtesy of his granddaughter. He's been walking five miles a day for over 25 years, after experiencing a heart attack. He claims to have never missed a day....I'm not too sure how accurate that statement is. However, in some ways I wouldn't be surprised. Now matter the weather or the temperature, he's out there. In the winter months, he wears a snowmobile suit.

Jim goes out ice fishing with his son pretty much every weekend in the winter. He claims they always catch their limit and then stop for breakfast on the way home. Jim plants a garden every summer and still mows his lawn.

Chip told him he's like a rooster, because he wakes up as soon as it starts getting daylight. He's never forgotten this, and always refers to himself as "the rooster" when we visit with him. He loves to give Chip a hard time when I'm running alone, and asks me if I wasn't able to drag his "lazy butt out of bed." (The reality is that Chip has most likely run before me, or he's WAY ahead of me....)

Last Sunday, while doing a long run, I saw Jim. As usual, we chatted about the weather, commenting on how much longer the days were getting, and how nice it is to have the sun rise a little earlier. We said our usual, "See you in the morning" and he looked at me and said, "God willing."

I thought about this comment as I finished my run. Isn't it the truth? We never know what the next moment is going to bring, not to mention the next morning. I wondered how it would be to think in those terms about everything. Not in a gloom and doom way, but in a grace filled and grateful way. It made me remember, once again, how every moment truly is a gift that's given freely and when it's gone....it's gone. I also thought about how that comment probably has different meaning for Jim than is does for me.

Every summer I think I should take my camera with me on a run, and ask Jim if I can take his picture and post it on my blog to inspire others. Maybe I'll ask him this summer....God willing.

Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend

I am retiring my running shorts. As you can see, they are well used. Yes, those are holes. And yes, those holes are in a very precarious place. However, you non-runners, rest assured....running shorts have a liner in them.

I've had these shorts since summer of 2004. I bought them at, of all places, at Ross Dress For Less. It was one of those strokes of luck where you're there on the right day, at the right time and find the perfect buy for the perfect price.

I have loved these shorts. When I bought them, I was about 10 lbs. heavier than I am currently. I loved how they felt as I lost those 10 lbs.....loose and flowing but with a nice waistband that never felt too big or too small.

These shorts have a little pocket in the front that have carried keys, cell phones, sports gels, sports beans, and other misc. items.

I ran my first half-marathon in these shorts, as well as my most recent half-marathon. I have worn these shorts, literally, for almost every run the past six years. In addition to wearing them in the summer, I wear them over my tights in the winter. That little extra bit of clothing does wonders to warm a cold rear-end in the winter months.

I ordered a new pair of shorts this week and received them last night. They fit beautifully. They are the same brand, the same color, and "supposedly" the same short as my former pair. We'll see. I've tried them on. They fit well, but they're different. For one, they are just a tad bit longer and don't have the notch cut out on the side. And of course, there's that obnoxious drawstring that I swear my old pair didn't have, although upon further inspection I have realized they once did, I just took it out. I'm sure these shorts face the same fate.

There are many runs and many miles ahead that will determine if the "new" shorts make the cut, and if they can be put in the same category as the "old" shorts. I just know that it's not going to feel the same getting dressed for my run in the morning. It won't be mindless. I'll be aware that I'm putting on different shorts, that they're a little bit longer, they don't have the notch cut out, and they have that obnoxious drawstring.

It's hard to say goodbye.

I Will Not Should On Myself

In life there are things I need to do. There are also things I want to do. Fortunately for me, oftentimes these are one in the same. Then there's the "shoulds." I should do this, I should do that. I should make that phone call. I should make that visit. I should send that e-mail. I should go here. I should go there. I should, I should, I should.



I don't trust the shoulds. Mostly because I have learned to distinguish a should from a need or a want. Far too often, a should is someone else's voice or someone else's agenda. Far too often, a should is given credence in order to quiet that voice, meet that agenda, or please someone else, oftentimes at the expense of my needs and wants. Shoulds are optional.



That being said, I don't discredit a should when it enters my thoughts. I have learned to pay attention to it, sit with it, and see if it really has the potential to be a need or a want. I ask the Who, Why, and What questions. Who is telling me I should? Why should I? What purpose in life will it serve?

Not too long ago, I made the commitment to myself to only be involved with those people, organizations, and causes that I deeply believe in. All the more reason for me to evaluate a should when it enters my mind. If it let myself, (and I am no different from anyone else) I could spend my weeks, days and hours meeting everyone else's needs and filling everyone else's agenda but my own. I have been there and done that.

I am at a point in my life where my credo is "To thine own self be true." I am also at a point in my life where I trust myself with this credo, because I believe I have my priorities straight and a pretty good idea of what I need and want in order to be who I am and who I want to be.

Therefore, there will be no more shoulding on myself.....because....I shouldn't :)

The Heart of Our Home

I like our home. It's just the right size for our family and provides each of us our own space. We've lived in our home for almost five years and completed finishing the basement two years ago. Since that was quite a laborious endeavor, we laid low in regards to home improvements for a couple of years. However, lately we've become motivated once again to make some changes to our home that hopefully are an expression of who we are. We painted the master bedroom over Christmas break, and I'm in the process of painting my office downstairs. After just finishing the first week of Spring Semester, I have a feeling this paint job is going to take a while.

I must say my favorite room in our home is the kitchen. Our kitchen is spacious and bright, and it's what sold me when we first looked at buying this house. As must as I love the aesthetics of our kitchen, I really love it for the function is serves as the heart of our home. Our kitchen is our family's gathering place. I don't think this is unusual for a lot of families. The entire family can be found here at any given time doing homework, surfing the net, reading, cooking, baking, etc., almost always with some music playing in the background. As a family, we've had some very profound and significant conversations, cried many tears and shared many laughs in our kitchen.

One of the things that feeds my soul the very most is something that is actually quite common and ordinary and takes place in our kitchen. On any given night, (at the current time in our lives it's usually on the weekends), I will be in the kitchen cooking, surrounded by my family. Sometimes we're totally engaged in one another and sometimes each of us is totally engaged in our own "thing." Sometimes I sip a glass of wine as I cook, Chip joins me, and the kids have their beverage of choice. Sometimes we listen to NPR podcasts and sometimes to music. Sometimes there's a dog at someone's feet, a cat on someone's lap, or a dog and chasing each other through the kitchen. While all those dynamics may change, the constants are the wonderful smell of a meal cooking, the end of a day being near, and the fact we're all in the same room together.

I've come to realize this is sacred time. This is the time we spend to regroup from being "out there" all day and all week. This is when we refuel our bodies with food and our minds, souls and spirits with the knowledge that we're loved and accepted as we are and for who we are. Bruised egos are rubbed, hurt feelings are patted, successes are celebrated and dreams are shared. So much LIFE takes place during this time, and it all happens in the heart of our home...our kitchen.

Julie, Julia and Me

Over the Christmas break, we rented several movies to watch. One of my favorites was "Julie and Julia." I absolutely adored this movie, most likely because I absolutely adore both eating and cooking. Besides being entertaining, this movie affirmed my love for cooking (and made me want to do more of it), and really got me itching to blog more.

This blog was set up to be a family blog and it has served that purpose. I've tried to keep family members near and far updated on the ever so ordinary goings-ons of the Fuller family. However, I consistently find myself wanting to process my thoughts and observations in addition to posting a travel log or reviewing our monthly calendar.

So, I am making a New Year's Resolution to blog at least once a week. I'm sure some of these posts will be updates on our family, but I hope to get in some writing time as well...as if I don't do enough of that for school.

So, along those lines, and in keeping with the theme of Julie and Julia, I just want to say that while I loved that movie, it would have been the icing on the cake if the main character had actually gained a few pounds during the course of her 365 days of cooking each and every one of Julia Child's recipes. I mean...come on....how could ANYBODY not gain weight cooking with real butter every day? Even if you only sampled the food, there's the tasting that goes on while cooking to assure the flavor is good, and those tastes all add up. I know it's Hollywood, and in Hollywood you can cook and eat gourmet French food for a year and still look amazingly thin. However, in my humble opinion, it would have made a good movie even better if Julie would have shown her real passion for Julia Child and her cooking by plumping up just a tad.

Random Thoughts

I am fortunate enough to have a certain amount of quality alone time everyday, which affords me the opportunity to think about and pay attention to my thoughts. Some random thoughts/observations I've been having as of late:

• After a day or so of these inversions, I start to get depressed.
• One of the things I least like in a supervisor is the tendency to micro manage.
• Many people are homeless by choice and are really okay with their circumstances.
• Some people seem to feel the need to toot their own horn more than others. Why is this?
• The two things I like best about Christmas are the lights and the music. The thing I like least is the tendency to be so busy that you don't really get to enjoy either one.
• One of the qualities I value most in family, friends and co-workers is a good sense of humor. Humor can pretty much redeem any situation.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to post these....just did.

Workman Family Christmas Party 2009...and other stuff

Caitlin's "new" car.....round 2

(hopefully there's not a round 3, as long as she's on our insurance).
Vanessa and Santa....no this isn't some new twist on the Holy Family
and she didn't get a new baby for Christmas,
just an Itunes gift card.

Caitlin and Santa (a.k.a. Cousin Mike)

So, the Workman family successfully pulled off another Christmas party. These yearly parties have been going on since about 1979-1980. I remember it was the first Christmas that Mom and I were alone....mom and dad had separated and Mitch was on his mission, so we decided to have a family party at our home in Bountiful. Of course, the kids who were kids then are all parents now, so 29 years later, our family party can no longer be held in anyone's home. This year, we were fortunate to meet in my counsin Brandee's clubhouse in her subdivision. There's the core group who lives around the area that are always there, but every year we are fortunate to have a cousin or two in from out of town and it's always fun to catch up. This year a cousin from Cedar City and one from Nebraska were here.

When we first started doing these parties, my Aunt Mildred, who has since passed away from breast cancer, sewed a Santa bag, complete with jingle bells. All the adults would bring gifts for their children from Santa, and someone would go out, jingle the bells, and leave it on the porch for the kids to find. Alas, the growing number of children and, therefore, presents, put a strain on Aunt Mildred's santa bag, so somewhere down the road we ended up getting a Santa costume and recruiting various male family members to be Santa. It's kind of fun to see the cousin's taking the "Santa torch" from their dads and now playing Santa. This year it was my cousin Mike and he did a most excellent job. He made Caitlin promise not to wreck anymore cars before he'd give her a gift, which she committed to (what one will do for an Itunes gift card), so I guess we're out of the woods :)

Vanessa was en route home to Iowa, so she was able to join us. I was so glad to spend some time with her before she goes home for her "summer" break. She'll be back in April, and I'm looking forward to spending more fun time with her when she returns.

As of Thursday, Caitlin now has another set of wheels. This one is a 1993 Acura, 140,000 miles, no spare tire, and a dent in the door.....but it has a sunroof and an awesome stereo system which more than compensates for all of the above in Caitlin's eyes. This is what $1800 dollars buys you nowadays. I, on the other hand, am equally excited about this new vehicle. Caitlin and I both had a brief but glorious taste of her transportation independence, and have both deeply grieved her need to depend upon me, once again, for getting her to and from the bus stop and work. But the wait is over and I can now once again kiss her, wave to her, and tell her to have a good day without ever getting out of my jammies.

Today's holiday festivities include a trip to Gateway for Christmas shopping, dinner somewhere wonderful, and looking at the Christmas lights in S.L.

On a personal note for the few family members who read this and know about the tough choice I needed to make regarding my internship.....I ended up choosing to do my Field Placement at the Homeless Veterans Fellowship rather than McKay-Dee Behavioral Health Institute. After several lengthy conversations with my Field Placement Professor, I came to the conclusion that either placement would be equally beneficial for my education, so I took the one that afforded me more flexibility, included working with more chronic cases of mental illness and substance abuse, and......the one that offered to pay me. In addition, the HVF is only one block away from Rich's nursing home which makes it extremely convenient. I started working at HVF two weeks ago and have been working 20 hours/week over the Christmas Break. I can tell I'm going to learn a lot and benefit greatly from this experience! I feel so fortunate!!!!

That's it for now! I'm just so impressed with myself that I've managed to blog 3 whole times in the month of December. It's amazing what I have the energy to do when I'm not in school.